Archive for 2009

December 24th, 2009

Americans Don't Speak English

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but a large part of the English-speaking Western world actually believes that Americans don’t speak English. So, what exactly do we Americans speak? American!

Look, I’ll give it to the Brits that perhaps their English is the more proper and correct version. They did, after all, father the language. We Americans then took it and simply made it… better. Ha, well, at least in my mind, we made it more efficient.

capsicumA big difference between American English and British English is the spelling of various words. I like to think that by leaving out unnecessary letters, we just make it easier. Think colour (British English) and color (American English). The u is simply an added chore to write or type.

Another difference is with the pronunciation of certain words, and I also like to think that we tend to sway on the efficiency side. Take the word mobile. In British English, it is pronounced like mo-by-ul, but in American English, it is commonly pronounced as mo-bull. The latter definitely takes a little less to say the same thing, right?

I’ve heard it all from the Brits, especially when some learned last year that I would be teaching American English in Ukraine. They always stated how stupid it was to only focus on American English, but the truth is that American English is generally thought of as the language of business. And, it even turned out that my short time spent virtual teaching Korean kids after first arriving in Australia involved American English as well. Yes, American English rocks, but since the Brits do have that whole “inventing the language thing”, I generally give their side of the argument a point from the start.

However, what I do have a problem with is when the friggin’ Aussies come around and try to say things like Australian English is better than American English because they happen to keep in all those crazy unnecessary letters and such.

What I’d like to know is if they have actually heard themselves talk because there is something silly going on down here in their lingo, and it makes it definitely different from the original. So, who are they to say their language is better, right?!

Fair dinkum, mate.

A Language Barrier

I always wondered what it would be like to date someone that spoke another language. It is quite interesting to see people in relationships with foreigners that barely speak a lick of English because I feel that so much of a relationship relies on the ability to communicate. If I couldn’t tell my partner exactly how I felt… I can’t even imagine! But, somehow, some people make it work.

Now, we may not speak completely different languages, my boyfriend and I, but you could say that we speak different dialects of English. You would be surprised how many times I find myself asking him the meaning of an Aussie word or phrase, or just to repeat himself because I couldn’t quite catch it the first time. Yep, we do have a language barrier between us. Here is one such instance:

When I moved into my new apartment, I needed to search out a mattress. We thought we would go to this foam shop he knew about because he heard they were quite comfortable for the price. To check out the exact address, we decided to do a quick web search and go from there.

I was manning the keyboard with Patrick by my side. He started by spitting out the store’s name, which sounded something like “Clock Robba”. Seriously, I had no freaking idea what he was saying. Dumbfounded, I looked at him in confusion as I tried to piece together whether “Clock Robba” could actually be the name for a foam shop.

My fingers couldn’t even begin to type because I honestly was so confused.

How do you spell that? C l o c k?” I asked.

No,” said Pat. “Clock like the name silly.

What the…?

C l a r k!” he spelled.

Oh. my. goodness. I really had no idea. We laughed and I typed in “Clark” as was necessary, and then was shocked again when I had to spell out “Robba”.

Long story short, I was so confused because it was actually a store called “Clark Rubber”, but we just had a failure to communicate. True story!

December 7th, 2009

Shoe Shortage in Australia

Thousands of Australians are going without proper footwear all across the country.

From a random sampling, an estimated 10% of the population performs daily activities, such as grocery shopping or walking to work, without any form of shoe on whatsoever.

The cause of this strange behavior was initially said to be from a widespread shoe shortage in Australia, but after closer investigation into countless shop inventories, it was clear to see otherwise.

no-shoesNow, sources say this going barefoot behavior could be linked to the beach culture, or more recently to the movement that going barefoot is just a healthier and more natural option.

“Shoes? We don’t need no stinkin’ shoes!” exclaims Running Barefoot, a website dedicated to the benefits of running without shoes.

The website’s founder, Barefoot Ken Bob Saxton, states, “Rather than depending on shoes, soft surfaces, or pain-killing drugs, to block the pain of clumsy running, it is important to take personal responsibility for learning to run better, more gently, efficiently, and gracefully.”

Even though Barefoot Ken Bob has a point, skeptics have a hard time swallowing the sanitary and safety conditions of walking down the street without footwear.

With numerous pitfalls plaguing sidewalks today, such as broken glass, used bubble gum, bugs, spit and other bodily fluids, feet can easily become filthy, injured or even infected just from a quick stroll to the shops.

“There’s a reason people take their shoes off when entering their home,” states Brooke from Brooke vs. the World. “So, what will these barefoot people do? Hose off their feet each time before walking indoors?”

For foreigners like Brooke, the sight of these free foot individuals in Australia has been quite the shock.

“I come from a ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ kind of culture, so when I see so many people in establishments without shoes, it is very surprising to me.”

Two working holiday visa makers from London commented on the situation by explaining how they thought these people were homeless at first because of their lack of footwear.

“It seems very strange to us. We just don’t get it.”

December 2nd, 2009

To My Family, With Love… But Mostly Frustration

Clearly, I do my best writing when I’m emotionally unstable. Anything that comes out of these fingers when I’m feeling completely angered, amazed, saddened, annoyed or joyous to an unbalanced level just tends to flow without thinking.

Now, I give you frustration.

Yes, family, I’m about to call you out. I apologize in advance, but it just has to be done. You are making me more than frustrated.

travel-and-passportsOf all the places I have traveled, you have not once come to visit me.

Of course, Kyrgyzstan, Guatemala and Ukraine I completely understand, and I never once expected you to go there. But, remember that time I spent an entire semester in beautiful, romantic, amazing, delicious, wonderful, coveted Italy?! Remember how I was the ONLY one in the entire group of study abroad students whose family didn’t arrive for a week or two of Italy fun? And, remember, mom, how you regretted not coming to see me AFTER I CAME HOME?

Maybe this fact has evaded the memory because when I ask you now to come to Australia, you just can’t get yourself to say that you’re coming.

kangarooWhat?! It’s AUSTRALIA! It’s like some people’s dream vacation to go to Australia, and here I am asking you, and offering you a free place to stay in the process, and you don’t really have a desire to go.

I have a hard time understanding how anyone in their right mind could not want to bask in the glory that is Oz with its endless beaches and bouncing kangaroos. “How?!” I shout. Who are you people, and how was I was spawned with such a desire to travel when you don’t even have passports?!

It’s a part of my life.

Travel is what I do. It’s a passion that has been going strong since my first trip overseas, and considering the past couple of years have been spent abroad, it is obviously a huge factor in who I am today.

Unfortunately, I am unable to share this with you. While you understand that travel is what I do, you don’t really… get it.

I would love to be able to show my world to … well… anyone… because no one has EVER visited me ANYWHERE. And, I understand that it’s not the easiest to get over to K-Stan or Ukraine or wherever, but NOW – now I’m in bloody Australia! Please, somebody, let me show you where I’ve been living for the past 8 months!

I’m only a flight away.

sydney-harbourWhy is it that everyone (except me – thanks) in my family has flown to Las Vegas, but they cannot get off their duffs to fly to Oz? I know, I know – Oz and Vegas are not the same thing – but there are casinos in Australia, too!

Ok, well the flight is a bit different, too… about 16 hours different. It’s a longgggg, longgggg flight from Chicago, but dammit, it is just no excuse! How about that time you managed to ride on the back of a motorcycle all the way to the world famous Sturgis rally in South Dakota. For those not familiar with US geography, let’s just say that South Dakota is not a quick ride from Illinois. Could that really be any more comfortable than a seat in an airplane… really?

Can’t handle the idea of the flight? Just think about the thousands of other people taking the same trip. If they can do it, can’t you? Grab a couple of nicotine patches, bring some tunes and some books, and you’ll be here before you know it.

Do something exciting.

The world is a huge place, and there is just so much more to do and see outside of that tiny sample back home. Take the time to do something adventurous and out of the norm – something that makes you excited and nervous and anxious all at the same time. It is just plain good for the soul.

Don’t make me do it.

I definitely don’t have much money. Even though I make a decent amount from work, life keeps getting in the way. Ever since I ventured over to New Zealand, I’ve had countless expenditures: visa and travel insurance fees, various doctor appointments, medications, deposit on new apartment, paying full rent on apartment for a month until I found a flatmate, furnishing said apartment, monthly student loan payments, and now a new laptop. Sydney is not a cheap place to live, and when you consider the apartment deposit and full rent for a month, that’s $3,000 AUD right there!

No, I don’t have a lot of money, but I do have some credit cards, and I would be willing to use them to book a hand full of plane tickets for March 2010 to Sydney, Australia in the names of various family members of mine. And, then what? Yep, you will be forced to come because I will only buy non-transferable, non-refundable tickets. This means that if you don’t come, the fact that I am broke and needing to work overtime for the next year in order to pay off that debt will be on your conscience.

I’m sorry if this sounds threatening and forward, but the truth is, it IS a little threatening and forward – MAYBE because I just don’t think you GET IT. The joking anger that I portray on Skype is more of a show, and after 15 months since the last time I was at home, I’m beginning to wonder how long it would actually take before you do.

There are 1001 reasons why you should come to Australia (those of which I’m sure anyone in the travel community can back me up on), so please give me an answer soon.

Don’t make my credit cards do the answering for you.

November 23rd, 2009

I love it, I love my naughty little pet.

I’m having elephant weevil withdrawals. Remember how I was saying I should have given him a name and kept him as a pet, well it turns out that maybe I really should have!

flyWhile reading the free mX paper on the train home from work, I came across an interesting article. It explained that even though insects have tiny brains, they may actually be surprisingly smarter than we ever thought. And, get this, they might even have a sense of self!

Oh, my poor little elephant weevil. I could have loved it like a tiny little pet, but oh, I KILLED IT! (well, tossed it outside).

I don’t know about you, but that puts an entirely different spin on the idea of killing bugs. What am I supposed to do now?

AND – that also makes you think about which bugs are actually evil… I vote spiders.

November 15th, 2009

It's starting to feel like National Geographic around here.

Thanks to a lovely reader, Brian, I found out that I had an adorable little elephant weevil in my apartment last week… That AND a dirty little bastard of a cockroach that viciously attacked me and made me scream like a little girl. YEAH, well who’s laughing now?! Anyways, it was not only a day later that I was walking around the corner of the building to check the mail when I ran into this guy:

CIMG2389

Yep, that’s like the biggest of the big walking sticks I’ve ever seen in my life, and it had to be hanging out in the right spot so I would run into it. Don’t let this picture fool you. It was well over a foot long, which from what I’ve researched is not uncommon.

I always feel like I’m unlucky. I was either born with some strange bug attracting scent that draws these ugly creatures near me, or I just have some zany bug radar that makes me spot them where others don’t. Either way, it is absolutely frustrating to have to deal with such misfortune because the sight of them drives me nuts!

Luckily the walking stick was outside, so it was no drama. If it were inside, it would be another story, but I think if it were to make an entrance indoors, that would be quite the journey off the beaten path since there are no trees in my place (also making the elephant weevil incident a bit stranger). However, what I do worry about running into, and I’m crossing my fingers and toes, is the horrifying huntsman spider.

According to Wikipedia:

“They live in the crevices of tree bark, but will frequently wander into homes and vehicles.”

Dear God, if that happens I will probably recreate the cockroach landing on me experience times 100, wake the dead with my wails, and then faint and hopefully forget it happened.

Patrick so kindly told me a story about the time he came across a huntsman hanging out in the fridge.

Huntsman spiders, be warned! I will not be having any of that in my house.

November 12th, 2009

Help! I'm being invaded by alien bugs!

What is this?! Look at it… What the hell is this bug?! And, why the freak is it in my apartment?! Gar.

bug 02I hate bugs more than anything. Highest on that list are spiders, and that sometimes reaches a level of irrational fear. But, any buggy type thing will do it to me. I came home from work last night to find my apartment being invaded by bugs. Ok… well… it was only 2 bugs, but they were not my favorites. First of all, there was a big cockroach on the wall, and it was a sad sight to see because it was the first one that has been spotted in my sweet pad up in Killara. It nested itself high on the wall and pretty much sat there all night, but I just wasn’t happy with its presence because where there’s one, there’s hundreds :(

Then, there was this foreigner hanging out on my TV antenna! I must say that I was actually more fascinated with it than anything. I waited for my boyfriend to come over so he could identify it (being from Australia), but he said that he had never seen it before! It was just such a strange looking little bug, so I made sure that it wasn’t harmed when being tossed outside.

bug 01

I’m guessing it usually hangs out on trees given its rough and colored exterior, not to mention the fact it was perched on the antenna like it was a branch or small tree limb. It has a really weird snout looking thing, too. Does anyone know what this strange alien bug is? It was almost kind of… cute. It appeared as though it was frightened of us, hiding its face when we were looking at it. I should have given it a name and left it be since it is probably the closest thing to a pet I will have for who knows how long.

bug 03The night progressed and the gigantic cockroach was still up on my wall. Patrick said he was going to take care of it, but then he acted like it was no longer there. I said, “Fine, I’ll take care of this,” and marched into the living room with spray in hand. I stood on a chair and started attacking it, but it decided to hop around and then proceed to fly directly at me – landing on me in the process. I screamed like a little girl and frantically danced around the room trying to get the freaking thing off me. Thankfully, Pat came back in and took it from there.

It’s almost like the little bugger knew that would be the worst way to get me back. What. a. jerk.

But, then again, I was trying to kill it. Go figure.

November 11th, 2009

The Exotic Foreigner: Shut up, or I will punch you in the face.

Look, I’ve been dealing with some anger issues lately. I’m not sure why, but I just keep wanting to punch people, things, ideas, whatever in the face. Oh, yeah, that would feel so good, or at least I think it would. It’s not like I’ve ever actually hit anyone in the face – on purpose – but there is that strange built-in instinct to resort to a fist when worked up.

Lately, it can be anything – bad weather, a stupid singer on Australian Idol (Toby was really, really bad), or a spider on my wall.

“This rain makes me want to punch it in the face!”

local girlHowever, there is one topic that always gets on my nerves, and that is when guys always talk about the exotic foreigner and how much hotter they are than other women.

I mean, it’s not like I’m jealous or anything. Psh, me? No way. But, it’s tough to always hear the same things, and it is super annoying when traveling. Back in the Baltic countries, there happened to be very few female travelers compared to the number of guys, so I was often the only girl in the crew that had to unwillingly become the listener to various conversations on sexy Eastern European women, or how Tallinn, Estonia had some crazy ratio of super models.

While teaching in Ukraine, I came across the realities of how large the mail-order-bride and wife shopping market really is over there for Western men looking for an exotic foreigner.

Even just on the internet, you find plenty of men ranting and raving about foreign women. Nomadic Matt, (sorry to single you out, Matt) for example, is not opposed to sharing little bits of his personal life and opinions on Twitter, and I do remember him stating once how he thought French women just exude sexiness (correct me if I’m wrong). Maybe this is true, but why? Is it the way they dress, walk, talk…?

Self-published author, Grant Lingel, openly shared his foreign women exploits in his book, “Imagine: A Vagabond Story,” and describes their beauty in detail, as well as other interesting encounters, like how he happened upon some topless Swedish (or other Scandinavian country) girls on the beach. Every man’s dream, right?

Helloooo? What about your good ol’ home girls back in America?!

Like I said, it’s not me that I’m angry about, but the group as a whole that gets pushed aside, and that’s what sucks. There are plenty of gorgeous women in America, and wherever for that matter, so its not the whole good looks thing that draws the men to swoon over the foreigners.

There is something about foreigners that makes us all – men and women – go a bit crazy.

What that is, I do not know. Perhaps it is the accents, or the culture, or maybe it is purely the idea. There is generally a stereotype of how people of other cultures look and act, and this could also play into how our mind perceives reality.

I mean, what is it that would draw an entire group of Australian men to go to a certain bar solely to search out Swedish girls? I was told this by an Australian friend of mine when I got to Sydney, and I immediately wanted to punch him in the face. Why were Swedish girls in particular a target? Is it like a forbidden fruit? There are plenty of beautiful and scantily clad Aussie girls out there to accommodate their needs, so my only thought was that they would hope the Swedish girls would also find them to be exotic foreigners, enhancing the chance for further engagements.

Oh, but when people openly use their foreign-ness to get something they want from the opposite sex… that’s a bit annoying.

I had another Aussie friend that, when traveling, exclaimed he was considered “exotic” and that’s why all the ladies loved him abroad. Gag me.

Look, I, too, have been entranced by the ideas of certain cultures having a certain type of guy, namely your typical Aussie bloke that we American girls melt over.

cute brooke n patAs soon as my girl friends in Ukraine found out I was going to Australia and had a nice Aussie man to hopefully meet up with while there, they were immediately jealous. It was a jealousy that all the American guys there were soon envious of, but I’m pretty sure they can all relax. I may have had a love for a good Australian guy in my day, but, hey, I’m not so sure those stereotypical visions in my head of how they typically are perceived are actually a splice of reality.

Just yesterday, I ran an interview with a Swedish girl in Australia on a working holiday visa. When she found out I had an Australian boyfriend, the conversation went a little like the following:

Swedish Girl: “So, is your boyfriend like one of those hot, tall, blond Aussie guys with a good body out at the beach surfing every day?”

Me: “If by tall and blond you mean an average height half-Asian who only prefers to go to the beach if he’s fishing… then yes.”

Swedish Girl: “Where are they all?!”

Her response here was hilarious to me because I have felt that the stereotypical Aussie man is just an idea – at least in Sydney – and she was obviously feeling the same way.

As the interview progressed with said Swedish girl, I found out that she did have a trick in order to save money while going out to the pubs and clubs around Sydney. She basically said she would seek out a nice Australian guy willing to buy her drinks all night.

The interview had to end early because I punched her in the face.

November 5th, 2009

Mo Sista

moI had never heard about Movember until Australia. Movember is when the entire month of November is spent growing a “mo”, which is short for moustache, in support of men’s health issues. You get donations that go towards helping prostate cancer and depression in men, and a really good excuse to grow a wicked stache.

Digital Pacific, a company I work for here, has put together a team of Mo Bros and a Mo Sista (that’s me!) this month, and we are actively participating in the mo growing journey (except me – I just love a good mo).

Our director has announced that anyone who joins our team (up to 200 people) will get an instant donation of $10! Yep, that’s right! That’s 10 more dollars towards these two great causes just for signing up, and it literally takes less than a minute to do! So, what are you waiting for??? Join team Digital Pacific!

The person on our team to grow the best mo by the end of the month will win a YEAR of FREE WEB HOSTING. Not bad, eh?

If you don’t want to join, you can always just donate, even if it is only a couple of bucks.

We will be documenting the progress on the Digital Pacific facebook page, so become a fan and follow along!

November 2nd, 2009

Kyrgyz Drink Video Backlash

CIMG0709I used to make some videos every now and again for my blog, which I’d like to get back into doing, and I generally promote them on vimeo and also upload them to YouTube. I wouldn’t say I’m a successful video maker – they rarely get views, I make them with my pocket camera, and they never get comments… except for my Kyrgyz related videos.

I got two notifications today from YouTube about new comments on my Taste Testing Shoro video (below), and of course they are from a pissed off Kyrgyz individual who took the time to leave a comment in both English and Russian.

If you take a look at the comments, most of them have been negative in some way or another, and some comments have even been removed now – not sure why. It’s quite impressive the amount of comments received in respect to the number of actual video views. I knew that they really loved Shoro, but I never knew they would take so much offense to my reaction.

Is it bad that I don’t like this drink? No, I don’t think so. To me, it is a weird taste and not a flavor I had been introduced to before. It is not uncommon for people from other cultures to not understand the food and drink choices of another because they just aren’t accustomed to them. To me, Shoro was weird. It was sour and gritty… like really gritty – almost like drinking old beer that had sand in it. And, yes, the slight fermentation smelled like stale beer, or at least that was the closest thing I could associate it with. I tried it twice, downing an entire cup to give it a go, but it just wasn’t for me.

“facking american ass.holes we have a national drinks u dont !!!!!!! cuz history of ur country 500 years, ours- 2200 years ! morons !”

It’s unfortunate that this person had to take this video to another level. If only they knew how much I loved Kyrgyzstan and the Kyrgyz culture. I may not like the drink, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t like them.

October 26th, 2009

Didn't quite make it to Leichhardt.

I didn’t quite make it to Leichhardt this past weekend, but I’m OK with that. Sure, Leichhardt is known as the Little Italy of New South Wales. Sure, they might have heaps of restaurants with delicious Italian food for all the tourists and locals to delight in. Sure, I didn’t make it to Leichhardt to see what touristy treats were in store for me, but I don’t care.

cannoliI made it to Haberfield, and what some people don’t know is that Haberfield is also like a Little Italy. It has authentic Italian restaurants with delicious Italian food and Italian accents, and even authentic Italian cannoli.

Oh, sweet cannoli.

For me there is a no more perfect dessert than ricotta cheese infused cannoli. It seems that every time I have them, I tend to overdo it a bit, but I can’t stop. I hunted for cannoli in Italy, and when I discovered their popular existence in Sicily, I ate them every day. Cannoli with candied fruit. Cannoli with chocolate chips. Cannoli with pistachios.

brooke eating cannoliIf I could be any sweet, I would be a cannoli. My pastry shell would be the perfect level of crispness and chewiness in order to promote proper eatability, and it would definitely not be overcooked. I would have a light dusting of powdered sugar to dress myself up a bit. My ricotta filling would be sufficiently cheesy and probably consist of chocolate chips, but not very many as they need to leave the cream as the dominant taste. And, most importantly, my filling would meet in the middle, leaving no gaps, no holes, no empty spaces in the pastry shell.

So, no, I didn’t make it to Leichhardt, but who the heck cares when you still get delicious cannoli in Haberfield, which is what I would have been searching for anyway.