 Day 131: Just checked in to Seremban hotel. |
To understand my slightly apprehensive mindset before coming to Malaysia, I guess I would have to go back and explain Patrick’s background and his family a bit better to those of you who don’t know. My boyfriend, Patrick, was born in Australia to an Australian mother and a Malaysian (of Chinese descent) father, which would make him a “halfie” here in Oz. Dating an Australian already makes my life interesting, but when you throw in the part where he has this fairly strong Asian side, it really is two-fold.
You see, when his dad came over to Australia when he was a teenager, it was with his parents and brother and sister. That means Patrick’s fully Asian grandparents are living right around the corner in a Sydney suburb, and it is not something we ever really forget about. Grandma Choy doesn’t let that happen.
She may be in her eighties, but Grandma Choy still rules this family. Everyone talks about it; everyone laughs because they know it. The weekly dinners are always organized by her, and she gets what she wants.
My experience, personally, with Grandma Choy has generally been trying to explain to her that I dislike seafood dishes and that $100 bowls of shark fin soup are definitely out of the picture. But, from the sidelines I have seen her tactics of making family and food meetings happen as they should — from the repeat phone calls to pretending that someone else set it up so it’s obligatory — and her power is almost frightening. Although, I must respect the lady; Grandma Choy knows what she wants in life and will do what it takes to make that a reality.
So, that’s Grandma Choy – the matriarch, the power house, the all-seeing and knowing member of that family.
Pat’s dad started planning this trip to Malaysia because of some school reunion, so I’m not sure how it happened that the grandparents decided to come to Malaysia at this time as well. Since the dinners and the family gatherings are quite full-on here in Seremban (the home town), Pat’s dad decided for us all to spend some time in Penang first before heading into town where the relatives have congregated.
I was extremely nervous about our move to Seremban because it felt like a lot for me to take on meeting all of these distant relatives and being pushed further into unknown and often uncomfortable territory. My fears were alleviated by the fact that Pat’s parents were just expecting to arrive in Seremban after our 8 hour train journey with nothing but relaxing on their minds.
Unfortunately, Grandma Choy had other plans.
Grandma Choy is in the middle.
Uh oh.
Guess who rang up the hotel AS WE WERE CHECKING IN?!
Grandma Choy.
Did I mention she is the all-seeing and all-knowing member of this family?
Apparently it was her sister that set up the dinner for us, but everyone could see through the lie. Transport from our hotel at 7pm was already arranged. There was no getting out of this one.
For the love of God, we JUST arrived. Anyone else thinking this is going to be a long week?
I am not one for dealing well with my own relatives, never mind my partner’s, so I send you a thousand blessings. She does sound kind of cute though, in a menacing kind of way
Good luck.
Yes, it’s totally cute and somewhat hilarious, but in a scary sort of way
I’ll need the luck so thanks!
I thought the idea of travelling would broaden your way of thinking especially when it comes to other’s culture and ethinicity. But, did you realised that if you look back at all your blog about you and Pat’s family. All you do is whine.
I know it’s not easy to accept someone’s else culture but, it was your choice to be with a “halfie” as you called it. Shouldn’t you at least try to open your mind and try to see it from their point and enjoy it while it last.
To be able to travel is a priviledge but being accepted into other’s culture is an honour. Shouldn’t travel make you more tolerant and not to stereotypes and passing quick judgements based on your own culture/experience. And, the whole point of travelling is to experience other cultures, isn’t it?
“Travel teaches toleration” – Benjamin Disraeli
I used to love your blog with all your fantastic tips before you get all emotional and passing quick judgement on the Asian family just because you cannot accept it. I am not asking to accept everything that is against your principle but, you dont have to whine about everything. But, have respect and sensitivity towards other’s culture.
Thanks for the comment “J”. Just because you experience another culture doesn’t mean you have to fully enjoy it. I wouldn’t expect you to come to my house and like it all just because it is different from yours. What “quick judgments” am I passing? I wouldn’t say they are quick at all. I have been living with this other culture since I arrived in Australia, and I’m sorry if this sounds emotional to you, but I am a bit homesick and I can’t wait to go home in a couple of weeks to finally visit my family and my culture once again. My blog is not all about giving people travel tips. It is a personal blog, so yes, I share my emotions. Sorry if that doesn’t appeal to you anymore
My husband’s Granny tends to rule the roost in his family, so we typically do what she wants too.
Good luck with the family! 
Yes, it’s such a funny setup! It’s going well, but it is still difficult for me to handle all of these new people and experiences at once!